every clockwise overwelmed by a counter

knox college

2003-11-12T04:15:26Z

I visited Knox over the weekend and really, really liked it. I feel Knox could help me become the best version of myself (to quote the president's introduction to the open house). I like everything about the school. Its quirky traditions, its liberal stance, its strong academics, beautiful campus. Its just the right fit. Getting in is a concern for me. I just don't think I deserve it. The interview went okay..... I worry that I sounded silly. I don't know. I just really want to go there. Its most definetly my #1 choice. Beloit#3, Earlham #2. If I get into all three, I have no idea what I'll do.... I'm so overwelmed, excited, and scared shitless. I got my ACTs up to a 24 (math=20 science=20 reading=31 english=26). The applications are sent. Just have to send the application fees.

semisweet16 @ 2003-10-07T13:51:00

2003-10-07T18:50:27Z

this journal is now friends only. reply here if you want to be a friend. thanks muchos or what not.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-24T18:08:00

2003-09-24T23:09:14Z

okay. I need to get a new livejournal sn. someone discovered this site by my own sheer stupidity. this person would gladly use my lj to manipulate and degrade me in any way he can. i need a lj code. if you can hook me up let me know.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-22T06:50:00

2003-09-22T11:55:31Z

im fucking pissed.

I want to go visit a friend. However, my psycho + annoying extended family is coming at the same time. UGH. UGH. I can't fucking go. My grandma is uber bitch x 88940193841999.

I watched Pulp Fiction. It is now my all time favorite movie. If you haven't seen it, watch it now, dammit. Its the best shit.

take this quote...

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say "what" one more goddamn time!
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: NO!
Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't!
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

Enjoy, le big mac, yo.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-17T12:40:00

2003-09-17T17:44:37Z

An Intangible Reflection of Society in Music via Beck

To the casual observer Beck seems to be dribbling out lyrics with no meaning at the speed of Wile E. Coyote. However, Beck’s writing is far from insignificant. Beck explores the world’s changing society and instead of being boringly blatant, he chooses an original way to explain his observations. He intentionally makes his lyrics difficult to understand, so the listener must think to understand the words. Therefore, the listener must also think more deeply about the issue or issues Beck brings into focus. An excellent example of this technique is in one of Beck’s most popular songs, “New Pollution”.
“New Pollution” relates to Women’s power in society since the feminist movement and the battle feminists have with conservative society. “She’s got a cigarette on each arm” (Line 1 Beck), speaks of a woman’s independence today. However, many women suffer while reaching for independence, “She’s alone in the New Pollution” (Line 5 Beck). Like many musicians, Beck is politically liberal and supports the feminist movement, which explains his message.
Most of the lyrics speak of the degree of women’s independence. Beck describes women as fearless and interesting, but they must still suffer consequences. For example, “She can talk to the mangling strangers” (Line 8 Beck) speaks of women’s courage, but a woman must also cope with “Riding low on the drunken rivers” (Line 18 Beck). Therefore, Beck chides conservative society for challenging women’s independence and enthusiastically supports the feminist movement.
Beck may seem ridiculously complex, but he actually just intends for us to think in a complex way. “New Pollution” speaks of women’s issues that are more complicated than the average person would think. Beck hopes for the listener to go beyond simplistic views and ponder how we feel about issues related to social justice. Beck argues that if we continue to encourage malicious ignorance and unreasonable conservatism American culture will lose its energy and excitement. Beck makes his listeners’ realize a mind should never be wasted.

5 guys I would bang

2003-09-11T02:43:28Z

5. Jude Law He has the most stunning eyes, his british accent, and a silent intellectualism. I'm sorry about his wife, but now he can start dating me.
4. Jake Gyllenhaal He is an amazing actor (The Good Girl, Donnie Darko), has a hip last name, a yummy body, and lovely eyes.
3. Owen Wilson Broken nose. Blond locks. Hilarious... nuff' said
2. Robbie Williams I lust after this man guiltily. I lust, nonetheless.
1. Johnny Depp Its almost passe to want him, but I still do. He can act, he can look good, and he can be my lover.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-08T15:22:00

2003-09-08T20:22:53Z

its all over now. i can't take all this shit anymore. and its all everyone's fucking fault. you did nothing. all of you.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-08T09:52:00

2003-09-08T14:59:50Z

I really need to get out of Decatur. I meet these people and I'm nice, but if they were in my mind and heard my cynical and somewhat judgemental observations, they would hate me. I keep my opinions to myself much more than I did in the past. This happens mainly at work. I used to always say what was on my mind and despite the consequences, it made me a little happy inside. I was proud of my thoughts and I had some faith in myself. However, ever since Brit Lit the space in my mind that had confidence is non existent. There are times when I think.. I'm so much fucking smarter. But there are times as well, when I just want to fucking scream. Work was awful Saturday. A combination of working almost 7 hours (being exhausted), having a manager bitch at me (i deserved it, mind you), and the completely tactless and self-absorbed comments of my co hostess (a person who i cannot discuss my thoughts on except within this space because I don't hate her, she just makes me mad sometimes), brought me to tears. I'm wishing my life away, but I wish I could control my emotions better. I am not a ENTP, but ENFP, I think.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-07T16:01:00

2003-09-07T21:03:58Z

i was doing really great for a few days. i was almost completely blissed out. but lately i just feel like crying all the time. and i fucking hate myself. zoloft really should be my best friend. i cannot get anyone else to like me.

semisweet16 @ 2003-09-07T08:28:00

2003-09-07T13:28:24Z

the carpenters will kidnap me

2003-09-04T21:48:52Z

I've discovered my greatest fear.

The Carpenters.

First of all, the time is completely absurd and disturbing.
Second, I don't understand how two people can smile so continously.
Third, the music is creepy in a someone-is-going-to-molest-me kind of way.

no. god no.

how could the above be comforting?

i think they will come in the middle of the night and kidnap me. I am afraid.

dude..

2003-09-03T15:21:24Z

my philosophy class at rcc has been enlightening on many different levels. I walk into class about 5 minutes early and I plan to review some notes quickly, just in case we have a quiz. Two male somewhat attractive students walk in.

Boy1 w/ ironic pink backpack : dude, do we have test?
Boy2 w/ silly hair: man, i didn't even read the chapter, man..guess i better start
Boy1: we better not have a test, I'll flunk man.
Boy2: Dude..

note: boy 2 fell asleep in class.

I'm debating what my first paper will be on. I think I may right about the shinto perspective on god, and argue for its validitity. I'm really sick of society sterotyping asian religions. We've just read the teleological and cosmological arguments for the existence of God, which I totally understood (at least on a basic level). However, the ontological argument is a bit more elusive. I've read 1/3 of the chapter and I a bit confused.

I'm so psyched. I got a 93% (A-) on my essay test for Honors English. I was completely expecting to get like a B or C on it. I really do <3 Mrs. Dial.

china-blue.org

2003-09-01T17:04:03Z

china-blue.org

humiliated on two different levels

2003-08-31T13:49:29Z

1. guy i like, getting married.. good thing i kept it secret. moved on from that one.
2. fell on my ass HARD whilst walking on a slippery floor. my back still hurts, and ass will be bruised. being a fat ass has its advantages, i suppose.

im sorry for whining, but my life sucks. sometimes i really hate myself

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-28T17:08:00

2003-08-28T22:08:20Z

why am i so fucked up?

disturbingly AWWWW

2003-08-26T00:44:12Z

Kate

2003-08-24T04:41:29Z

Kate is..
my dearest + closest online friend. she is incredibly mature, funny and just downright awesome. I need a lj code for her to start a livejournal. please give me one. thank you.

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-22T18:40:00

2003-08-22T23:40:26Z

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But now the theory goes
That the apple's a rose,
And the pear is, and so's
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose--
But were always a rose.

-Robert Frost

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-21T21:46:00

2003-08-22T02:50:33Z

i got to get rid of this negativity. its just annoying everyone around me. whats interesting, is i have been bottling it up inside me at school and work. i'm usually one to show all my emotions, but i've been hiding it lately. the people who i have been putting it on, such as rachel, cantxstop and kate-- they have been more than tolerant. see this post as a formal apology for all the heaps of depresing talk i have forced upon you guys. to all my online friends: i love you guys so much. please talk to me. i feed on talking to new people. it makes me happy.

please im me. im isolated and bored. i need someone to connect with, and some of you mean something special to me.

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-21T18:28:00

2003-08-21T23:28:33Z

i don't know.

how i can cope

i'm sorry

but i don't know if i can do this anymore

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-20T23:45:00

2003-08-21T04:47:38Z

everyone keeps tell me i need to just get out of this town and go to college + everything will be better.

but i don't think so

how can someone get others to like her, when she is just fucked up not matter the situation.

learning and its uhh fundementals

2003-08-20T18:27:23Z

1st Hour-French IV H, Lassau
"I want you guys to have a good time"
me: does that mean we can watch TV?

*intermission with Mrs.Yarnell*
my schedule was all screwy. she seems nice, but such perky people annoy me. she says 'okay' with a weird southern accent.

2nd Hour- English IV H, Dial
I love Mrs. Dial. She is my favorite teacher. We are currently watching the movie 'Voice of One'. She is going to give us a short quiz about it later. I was 10 minutes late so I don't know the whole deal.

3rd Hour- Study Hall

4th Hour- Current Events, Vohland
Brad, Me, Mary, and others are in it. I told the class about my Bill O' Reilly + Dubya marriage dream.

5th Hour- Sociology, Hendrix
I like Mr. Hendrix. He is a pretty cool easy going guy. His sarcasm cracks me up. No book, just loads of note taking.

6th Hour- Theology, Lynch
This is going to be my sleep class. I can get a nice nap in before Conditioning. Mrs. Lynch may be alright though. She is married to an irish guy.

7th Hour- Conditioning, Davis
I am not happy about this. PE is not offered 7th hour, so this is all I could fit in. I'm not looking forward to talking Coach Davis into letting me leave early for Philosophy.

school.

2003-08-20T04:42:40Z

I start school at St. Teresa tommorow. I don't know what I can say that is remotely positive. Everything would be okay, but I have no idea where I want to go to college. Columbia or Knox? Knox or Webster? Webster or Columbia? I'm all mixed up. I would be going to columbia knowing no one. That is a big deal bc, at Columbia I would need to rent an apartment. I'm not good at meeting people. Plus, I'm really annoying in real life, so no one could truly like me. Moreover, I would make a total fool of myself over and over. I am not a cool girl. I'm many things, but cool or hip is not one of them.

I had Philosophy at Richland today. It was good. It would've been great. BUT, my mom (who is a teacher there as well) decided it was a good idea to tap on the window and wave.

The germ + kat relationship is not going to happen. He's not into me at all. I don't particularly blame him.

friends.. TAKE THIS.

2003-08-19T01:57:56Z

okay, here is a lovely survey for all of you to take. hint: TAKE IT.

GENERAL
1. Am I cute?
2. Am I crazy?
3. Am I lovable?
4. Am I funny?
5. Am I annoying?
6. Am I psycho?
7. Am I daring?
8. Am I a good person?

IF YOU COULD
1. Give me a new name, it would be?
2. Do one thing with me, it would be?
3. Drop me a piece of advice, it would be?
4. Kidnap me for a day, where would we go?

JUST A FEW QUESTIONS************************
1. What do you love about me?
2. What do you hate about me (seriously)?
3. What is my best quality?
4. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
5. What is your honest opinion about me?
6. What would you do if I sang out of tune?

OTHER SHIT
1. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
2. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
3. Do you think I'm a virgin?
4. If you just met me how old would you guess I am?
5. Am I huggable?
6. If you could give me anything... what would it be?
7. If you could promise me anything.. what would it be?

please answer. i'll answer for you!

semisweet16 @ 2003-08-18T19:31:00

2003-08-19T00:37:55Z

Spent the afternoon with Jeremy (I will refer to him as Germ from now on). Germ is 22, goes to millikin, and is a chem major. He is super hot and extra super smart. He looks a bit like justin timberlake, except dark hair. I like him a lot. I don't think we'll hang out for awhile, but this afternoon was fun. I don't understand why he hung out with me, but he did. Other stuff happened, but I'm not going to explain.

Went to senior orientation. It was funny how Mr. McDaniel tried to take charge. He looked like a little child struggling to appear grown up. As for the dean, all of us could smell his fear, so I can see most of his totally messing with his head. The fresh meat, err, freshmen won't notice though, so they'll be under his control. This year is going to be boring bc I usually like people who are older than me. Brad is pissed at me (as usual) , Pat seems somewhat forgiving, and I think Erin still believes I am suicidal. Nathan is just being Nathan. He has lunch with me.

Schedule of the damned...
Ist Hour- French IV H/ Lausau
2nd Hour- English IV H/ Dial
3rd Hour- Study Hall
4th Hour- Current Events /Vohland --next sem., American Government
5th Hour- Sociology/ Hendrix -- next sem. Psychology
6th Hour- Theology/ i-have-no-idea-who-the-fuck-she-is
7th Hour- PE/ Ipsen
**after this I leave early for Richland to take Philosophy on Tues + Thurs. Mon, Wed, Fri, I just leave.

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